No, I'm looking forward -- thinking about today, this first day of the year. Which normally feels all sparkly new, but for some reason this year just feels, well, like any other day. Not too bright, not too dull.....just middle of the road. In other words - blah.
Sort of dull in a way. So I'm wondering - where's the sparkle? Where's the shine? If I was Rachel Timmins I'd have 300 bags of glitter. Alas, I'm not, and I don't. Not that I would have ANY idea what to do with 3 bags of glitter, let alone 300. Except then maybe I could say 'have a super sparkly day' and mean it. But anyway, no glitter, no glam, no sparkle, no shine.
I figured I would ring in the New Year much the same as I have the past couple - a quiet evening, home alone, contemplating 2012 and planning for 2013.
That only happened in part. Yes, I was here alone - gorgeous, quiet, alone-ness. *sigh*. However, there was no contemplating, no planning....no reading or journaling. Nope.
I had the house to myself for 3 days....THREE DAYS.
"la-laaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa" Yes, there was much rejoicing. But still no sparkle or shine.
One might think that I'd have spent those three days leading up to New Years Eve at my bench. Or at least a large part of it at the bench. or at least some of it.......but no. I actually spent those 3 days cleaning, organizing, taking down (and packing up) Christmas decorations. I went through closets and desks, and shelves and bins and boxes. (oh my!)....I cleaned toilets at half past midnight.....I stayed up late and barely slept in. I got a lot accomplished except the one thing that typically defines my end of the year.
I didn't read, I didn't contemplate, I didn't (and haven't) planned or resolved or 'goaled' anything. OK, so there have been some thoughts on that rattling around in my brain these past few days. But nothing solid. Nothing firm. Definitely no commitments...
It's been about a year and a half since I bought this house, or, well, since we moved in to the house. And there have been more, and ARE more, people staying here than I ever could have imagined. 5 of us permanent and 2 that float in every now and again, and this in less than 1200 square feet. With little storage. And no garage. So anyway, as we live, I continue to see better ways to do, and keep, things. That is what those 3 gloriously alone days ended up being about. I would like to say that my bench was calling me but I couldn't answer because everything else was pressing in on me. . . . . but the truth is, everything else was pressing in on me and if my bench was calling, it was drowned out by everything else.
I set about those days, not hurried, but definitely purposed. In my seemingly non-sensical flight around my house I uncovered things like an old camera which I put batteries in and found the sweetest photos of my son from about 9 years ago. *melting heart here* And some jewelry I made some time ago that I havent seen in ages. happy happy, joy, joy. Oh and I threw away a boatload of umm, stuff. I am getting so very good at getting rid of things. :)
And then, on the eve of the New Year. I heard a whisper.....
And I answered.
And oh looky there, there is a tiny sparkle...
and some shine. . . . .
Now I just need to find the time to think.
To plan and dream about the year to come.
But for now it's off to bed. 6am will come pretty fast. I'm craving a cup of coffee right now.
But. I. must. go. to. bed
Night ya'll
