Thursday, January 03, 2013

The psychology of it all....or claim the game

Let's face it - we all play head games with ourselves.

I do it.

And you do it.

Oh yes you dooooooooo!


We find little ways to rationalize or explain or cope or believe or shed new light or inspire or . . . . . whatever-it-may-be.

And that's ok, it is.

Sometimes we need those little mindtricks to motivate or give us courage or just keep us moving forward. 


It's also ok, and sometimes even a little bit advantageous to recognize, identify, and claim those games.

See them for what they are, call them out - and own them. It's a little scary, but also freeing and even empowering. 

Here's a 'for instance'.

Several years back I decided, much like many of you wise folks, that I wasn't going to set resolutions anymore. They get neglected, broken, and finally forgotten. The mock me with their challenge.  Who needs 'em? (ok, some of you do....but keep with me here)

I decided, that instead of making resolutions at the beginning of the year, I was going to create 'goals'.

GOALS. They seem forward thinking to me while many resolutions seem backward thinking. (I don't KNOW WHY, this is my brain here, 'k?)

Anyway, they  (goals) are attainable. Actionable.  You can write steps, plan them out, change them along the way.

They are different than resolutions.

They ARE! 





No. Not in the end.

It was a bit of a head game.

A way for me to continue to attempt to make a fresh start at the beginning of the new year - I mean, that's what people do, right? Take stock, start the new year fresh? (and yes, I agree, it just seems like such a great time to do that)

So I looked at goals for a couple of years............. and now this year?  Well. I'm ready to give up that particular game altogether.

Because the reality is that I'm just not a beginning of the year, resolution, goal setting kind of person. It doesn't mean that those things are bad or wrong or that there aren't things I need to improve, change, or do (because, whoa nelly, they are!) What it means for me is that I don't have to play the game with myself anymore. I don't have to join in and use the New Year as an artificial deadline or green light. 

I'm free to be me and to change and plan in ways that make sense for me.

And when it makes sense for me. Which, to be honest, should be the moment I realize that something needs changing!

That might sound like a goal - "I will begin changing things right when I notice them!"

But it's not. It's something else.

It's not a resolution. Or a goal.

It's growth.

So I challenge you to consider the things you tell yourself.  Challenge the voice in your head.
  • Are New Year's resolutions really right for you? 
  • When, and how, do you go about setting goals? 
  • Or are you already challenging those headgames? 
Happy New Year. :)