Tuesday, February 01, 2011

Starting and Stopping

I've started writing this and I've stopped writing it.

Then I started. Then I stopped.

Over and over. 

Hmm, kind of like life.

Starts and Stops.

Full of new beginnings and happy endings and sometimes ones that aren't quite so happy and aren't all that new......

Change is the only constant, 'eh?

Such is life.

I embrace change. I'm actually pretty good at it. . . . . and sometimes there are things that can't be changed so I try to remind myself to make the changes that I can. don't be lazy, don't be afraid, don't hide from what could be.

I believe in the power we have to evoke change in our lives. And that sometimes we MUST do things that are scary, or  hard, or uncomfortable, or sad.

Because in the end, it will make life better.

One thing I have HAD to change just recently is my online 'life' - the places I frequent, how much time I give to it, how I prioritize, etc.

I've never been big into Facebook (which seems to be a huge 'addiction' for many folks) - I visit there rarely.  No, I have other compulsions and places I go - places and people that rope me in and hog time me to a tree.

They aren't bad places - they are full of wonderful people.

The truth of the matter is though - even wonderful things can be draining.  Especially when you are blessed with 5million of them!

Sometimes I feel like the ball in a pinball machine - careening around knocking into objects (and people) - sometimes gaining points, but other times shook so hard - TILT - I lose.

Not to mention I'm dizzy and tired and feel like I could vomit.


When things get like this - so much begins falling through the cracks in the sidewalk of my life. And that just won't do.

Not to mention - vomit sucks.

So - time for change. Right?

Like it or not - when life gets like this - when *I* have let it get out of control - I must make changes.

So, I have recently withdrawn my membership in a couple of groups of which I have been so blessed to be a part.

Which was hard.

(and scary)

Feels like I'm missing out on the party. Lost and alone.

But that only lasted the first few days.

Then - peace.

And the truth is, the people who matter - will understand.

And support me.

In the long run - its better for everyone - I'm a better 'me' when life isn't battering me around and my head isn't filled with the cacophony of a pinball machine atmosphere.  when I'm not compulsively checking for updates and comments......

I know I'm not alone in all this. Some of you experience the same thing.

If so, I encourage you to step back when you need to.

Your real friends aren't going anywhere.

Prioritize, pare down and put fewer things in focus.

You can always go back and visit - when the time is right - and you just might find you don't get sucked in like before.

And that just might be a very good thing.