Shake me up!

I totally need a good shaking!

I need to snap out of it.

What 'it'?

a mood

The mood.

That dark, heavy, icky, pissy mood.

The one I've been in for the past few days -- some of you are familiar with these moods - the ones that come on, unannounced, unbidden, unwelcome and try to make themselves at home from time to time.

I am determined today to shake myself out of it, its been about 3 days and I'm totally sick of it.

I know many who read here don't share my particular faith so I won't belabor it, but for me - everything (all of life) is faith related, so whether its a good mood or a bad mood - I need to talk to God about it. Right now that means more prayer, more time in the bible. . . .more reliance on God. Gotta love these repetitive reminders of my need for grace. Starting last night instead of reading my current novel in bed - I went with the bible. I've read several devotionals today already (short passages of bible with some commentary).....and while these things aren't out of the norm - I can (and do) get into periods where its more infrequent and less meaningful.

Part of my current mood, I recognize stems from 'life', parts of which are too private for blogsphere, but one thing I realized today is that even though it IS overwhelming and it IS a lot to bear and much of it is out of my control....I need to take responsibility for what I can control and I need to buck up. I think I've been letting (to a large degree) life happen to me lately rather than engaging fully.


So, as of now (and for now, today is all I can commit to) -- eyes open, focused, head and heart aligned - engage life. No passive BS.

As for what I can share on the blog....I am not even sure I can remember everything thats been going on the past couple of weeks.

Lots.

LG had his Spring Strings Concert



and his Spring Choral Concert

I only managed to have the camera on hand for the choral concert.

And he saw me having the camera on hand

and it was fun to smile and wave

until I kept trying to get him to slide left two steps so I had a clear shot





That is when I remembered how much he likes to follow the rules. He apparently had been coached to stand in the EXACT spot in which his two feet were FIRMLY planted

and my charades were getting old




and he wasn't having any of it

Then there is Pedro.

You may remember him from the bath

or the bad breathe

or the surgery.

well, here he is again - looking quite forlorn

He had an injury to his foot (paw) which required a trip to the Animal Hospital.

(where I had visions of Missy)


And he has looked quite pathetic...with his bandaged paw

and its hard to walk




our chunky monkey is a little hop-along.

or was.

He now has the bandage of and his foot is healing nicely. :)

In addition to all this running around - I've been busy trying to get ready for two shows this month. First larger shows that I've done.

I purchased a tent and am trying to re-configure my displays.

In addition to making some new items to fill out said displays.

I'm les tired.

so take a nap and then fire ze mizzles!

oh never mind.

The holiday weekend went by in a blur as we cleaned windows (and I do mean CLEANED as in scrubbed, inside and out, top and botton, frames, sills, screens) and attended other chores.

I am so thankful for that extra day off. So nice.

LG had a friend spend the night Sunday night.

They chased fireflies and caught a frog, roasted marshmallows and ate 'smores.

Posed for the camera.......

Watched a movie, played some games and went to bed promptly at 1am.

They arose at 7am.

Then they had b-fast and played and ran in the sprinkler and ate lunch and then went to the pool

and then friend went home around 4:30.

They were les tired.

Happy Wednesday all! :)

Warning - Graphic content

Who ever would have thought THAT would be a title here? From me? Mild mannered, uhh, whatever.

Never mind.

Here's Pedro, lovingly looking at me whilst I scratch around his tummy-tum-tum. His favorite thing in life, besides his little drumstick snackers he gobbles up.



So ok - the warning, I said there was graphic content right? Below you will see Pedro's little tummyy-tum-tum full of stitches.....if you are easy queasy then look away, look away NOW, don't read any furhter, or at least scroll down past the next photo...

Here we have our dear little Pedro - stitches and all.


OWY! Right? (and ok, maybe not so graphic - I decided not to upload the close up shots - they really aren't that pleasant)

Poor little guy. He looks so funny with his shaved tummy.

These stitches are like wire -they are so hard. Hard plastic, not nice silky sutures like we'd use in plastic surgery. Odd, huh? Plastic sutures but not in plastic surgery. Backwards...but, oh well. Such is life. ;-) Anyway, my little chunky monkey, who is NOT our brave bow-wow, is NOT going to enjoy his trip back to the vet tonight.


I said I'd get some pics of the other 'pillows' - so this morning I snapped a few literally on my way out the door. The texture design doesn't show up so well - partly because there is no patina yet and partly because it was a light printing and even though the beast doesn't obliterate textures, the movement of the metal, with the minute stretching, does alter it just the tiniest bit.

So when you start with somethign very light - it can make a bit of difference. We'll have to see how these play out once they are LOS'd. They have also been burnished a tiny bit which will also remove a bit of the depth.




That's it for now. I am trying to mentally prepare for the next few days - I start tonight with the vet appt. and then shopping for my son's party -and a bday gift for his friend - and a teacher gift for end of the year. (I had wanted to make a bracelet for her, but I think I'm out of time considering tomorrow is the last day and tonight I'm vetting and shopping.

Oh, and did I mention that I didn't sleep worth squat last night? I have been takig 50mg of benadryl a night at bedtime for the past 4 years or so with an occassional taper to almost come off it......then back on, then back to almost off...sooooooooo, two nights ago I ran out.

I'm cold turkey and last night was the pits. I drifted off finally a little after 1am and I 'slept' fitfully until about 5 am and then tossed and turned half asleep til I got up. So after about 4 hours of some degree of sleep, I'm left very tired today. :( And had a headache this morning.

Wah.

;-)

Janice

TFT - Die-forming

I'm continuing to fall behind in blogging....I thought when May was over life would slow down a bit - who knew?

For instance, a snapshot at the latter part of this week:

Pedro is coming along nicely from surgery, we just got pathology back and the growth was benign (YAY!). He has his sutures removed tomorrow evening. My son finishes school this week - he has half days starting today, going through Friday.

Today he is having a friend over after school, then he has a dentists appt at 4pm, swim practice early (a mock meet) at 4:30 (guess who's going to be late?), Friday we have a swim team party in the evenig, then little guy goes to a friends party at Splash Down, then Saturday 8am we have a REAL swim meet, his first ever!, then Saturday evening is his own birthday party - a sleepover...so I'm REALLY busy until Sunday morning when everyone goes home. OY.

And thats not even all of it - there's work and another playdate in there and swim practice each night and oh, I need to bake a birthday cake, buy gifts (both for my son and his friend), decorate for the party, clean the house....all before Saturday evening.

A friend recently mentioned that he just might be a glutton for punishment, hmmm me too maybe?

So it may be no surprise that I am braindead in the studio. Last night went ok....but I feel like I'm moving through mud. Everything takes a great effort. I WANT to create - feel the need, the desire, the urge...but then I get there.................

and sit.....

and stare......

And then sit and stare some more.

I used to get up and walk away at times like that. That was the wise choice then, because I used to MAKE myself work on something and 99% of the time it turned out to be for scrap.....but, I am trying to make myself do something these days, especially since I have these lovely Tuesday nights set aside. But NOT make crap/scrap. :) One night recently I organized some stones and another night I did photos and computer work.

Last night I pressed some forms with the 20-ton HP (gotta think of a nickname for that beast), same die that I had cut the other day (pics are of the form I made a couple of days ago - pics of the new forms will be coming soon.)

But I used some sheet that I roller printed (with a hand cut paper die) instead of the plain sheet from the other day. So now I have 4 'pillows' - well, 3.

One is a half a pillow...or a container...its open at the top.

Cool. ;-) Might fill it with something.

I am LOVING that beast. Head is swirling with ideas even if my hands aren't making the connection yet.



It will come.

I also polished up the bezel on this WIP recently - took some photos, yet again, same old ring........this is about the 4th bezel thats been on the ring.

I think I must have fried (over fried) the gold, it looks more copper than gold. I need to compare it to the original bezel strip to see how much the color may have changed. grrr. I actually don't mind too much since I'm keeping this one for myself. However, I'd like to figure it out prior to making another. Gold is ENTIRELY too expensive to continue to fry-up.

My son joined me last night in the basement until it was his bedtime - he spent the time writing a letter to his sissy, and drawing an awesome picture before he headed up to bed. I added a note to the letter this morning and got that mailed out today.


I retired early (AGAIN!) from the bench last night - went upstairs around 10:30. Thought I'd go back down and never quite made it. Dont' know why, could be I'm a bit drained.....though I can't imagine what from.

Interesting conversation on the forum the past few days. About our "addictions" - some can't stop buying books, or notepads, or magazines, or shoes, or fabrics.....I have several of the aforementioned addictions. I'm a bit of a hoarder anyway though I am in recovery for that. So what are your addictions? What do you excessively buy? Or collect? Or hoard?

~Janice

Had to say goodbye

Well, this weekend was a whirlwind that began with us back at the Animal Hospital Friday night. Missy had another episode Friday evening while I was preparing dinner. Unfortunately she didn't come right around like she usually does. And, new symptoms, her back end went completely out, she was paralyzed from the hindquarters back basically. She also seemed uncomfortable, evidenced by some whining with inspiration. Her breathing was labored, so by ten after 7 we were in the car back to the Animal Hospital. We were there until 11:45 when we finally had her put down. They couldn't figure out what was wrong with her without extensive testing which probably wasn't going to lead to treatment (in our case) and so we finally made the decision.

Talk about hard. Gut wrenching. I miss her. She was so different from any other dogs we have had or have now. she was just sweet. A sweet little loving dog.



She had perked up a day or two before and I snapped this pic while she was lying at my feet. This is how I hope to remember her, not the flailing, weak, pained (confused?) little dog we sat with in the ER Friday night.





We didn't get in bed til after 1am Friday night and I was up for baseball early, at the field by 9:30. And on with the rest of our busy weekend. Sam attended a party on Saturday in Annapolis, on the water - on a PIRATE ship. (maybe not incredibly 'pc' right now - but it was fun). We really enjoyed that...but I was so tired. Technically Missy was my daughter's dog - and I had the task of telling her - over the phone - about Missy's departure. She took it fairly well, but it must be hard when you have to hear something like that over the phone and can't be there.


It has been raining for a few days and is supposed to rain the remainder of the week. Kind of fits my mood.


I missed my first "Snafu Sunday" - hope you'll bear with me. I'm trying to get back on track, taking care of a few things, letting go of a few things. . . . giving in to some limitations in my life right now - paring down, re-organizing.


Hope you all are off to a good start to the week. Funny to see how many people were a big fan of the retractable sharpie - isn't it cool that little things can be so exciting!! :)

OK - I'm back to attach one pirate picture -more will come with a whole recounting of our adventure. ;-)

RRRRG!

Janice

TFT - Animal Hospital

It started out great. I left work just a few minutes early, stopped by KFC for a bucket of chicken, even took a minute to run into Kohl's to search their sale - got a couple of tops and a pair of pants - whooohooo! After losing about 40 pounds, I am in desperate need of clothes.

Got home, tossed the food on the table, changed out of work clothes (and into different 'work' clothes), tidied a couple of things and was in the basement by ohh maybe 6:30. Got out a ring I've been working on for Candace (from the giveaway), removed the shank becuase the ring was sizing just a bit too big. Actually I sawed it open, removed a tiny bit, or what I thought was a tiny bit, and hammered it closed and dropped it on the ring mandrel. WOW. That tiny bit cost me an entire ring size. Now its way small. OK, melt it off - grab new metal, start hammering it on mandrel to size....and I hear my Mother yelling something. Sounds like "Comfy the blogs"...better turn my ipod down...."WHAT?!" I yell back up. Again, some frantic request that now sounds more like, "Come feed the dogs" - I'm like (to myself) "duh, I always feed the dogs, head on off to bible study now Mom"....but again, I yell "WHAT?!" and again some nonsensical thing comes back to me...so now I"m up from the bench and to the bottom of the steps and she's yelling "Come see the dog(s?)!" ...oh great. Run up the stairs and Missy is laying on her side....barely breathing. Why do dogs have to get old?

For the past couple of weeks she's been having these little episodes -- seizures?, muscle contractions?, wicked charlie horses?, mini-strokes?....we're not really sure but we've just been watching her closely. Well shit, now I'm thinking she's dead cuz dude she's not moving at all. So I go over and talk to her....pick her up...thats when I see the puddle of urine on the floor. %$!*, losing control of the bladder -- not good. And she is completely limp in my arms, dangling, no muscle tone at all. Crap. Call the vet, they are closing in 10 minutes but hey,the animal hospital up the block from us opens in 10 minutes (at 7pm) so, run upstairs and throw some clothes on and back downstairs, I wrap Missy in a blanket and out we go to the Animal Hospital. Get there, they take her back, put her on 02 and start cleaning her up a bit (she lost the other end on the way over.....poor baby)....her heart rate is slow, but strong - her lungs however sound a bit dull.....they want to do blood work, x-rays, yadda yadda yadda.

So then comes all the decision making. What to do? What will the diagnostics mean in terms of treatment or palliative care? Meaning, will the results really lead us to treatment or are the kinds of things we are looking at going to mean, for us, supportive care? I opted for limited bloodwork to start us out. She had a chem panel and it showed her liver has some damage - her LFTs are elevated. Her calcium is low. She's 'waking up' a bit -- is looking around, trying to stand, finally does. Is walking a tiny it - no, make that stumbling.....

So, for now we decide to take her home and have her LFTs repeated in a few days. We got home a little before 9pm - my son's first question -"did she make it?"

"Yes sweety, she made it. but we dont' know for how long, we're not really sure what's wrong with her but she's getting old" Then ensues a conversation about death and dying (very limited) and so he says "Can't we just call it 'giving out'?" Sure, hon' that sounds like a good way - when her body gives out...

((hugs))

So, Missy slept most of the evening but was coming around more and walking a little bit better. We seperated her from the other dogs for the night. Woke this morning to a hellacious mess in the bathroom where we put her. She had horrible explosive diarrhea in the night (sorry if thats TMI) and it sprayed EVERYwhere. But.....she's alert.

And so begins another day for her. We don't know what is really wrong - my guess is she may have a mass, ?? cancerous. We won't do chemo and all of that if it is cancer. We'll keep her comfortable as best we can. I also suspect that these episodes that she is having will become more frequent and increase in intensity. I have been agonizing over our course of action with her and my Father finally says, "ya know, you're going to go through this all....." and I'm waiting for him to say '....with the other two dogs eventually' but NOOOOOOOOOO, he says:

"ya know, you're going to go through this all with US one day" Meaning him and my Mom! Well, gee, thanks alot for that uplifting little thought....I'm going back downstairs. After all, my ipod is still playing, bench lights, pickle pot, and tanks are still turned on....Its now 9:30 probably.

I finished the ring shank, soldered it on to the ring, put it in the pickle, then called it a night.

Here is a pic of Mis as I was driving her home from the hospital. She's 'up' but not alert.....just kind of bobbing along in the car.....
In her snazzy little bed which I think made her feel 'more better'. My Mom brought it up to the hospital while we were there - while we were waiting the test results we brought it inside and she was able to lay in it. I think having her own smelly thing was a comfort to her.

It seems its always something in our house.......

Janice